I have always been both enamored with, and amused by, the female gender of our species. There is a sense of mystery about them. They have learned to deliver such mixed messages – signals that only another female can decode – that they leave the male gender confused, in doubt, unsure and oft-frustrated, but wonderfully puzzled. Yes, females are wonderful creatures. Soft, yet tough. Conquerable, yet resilient. Feisty, yet gentle. But, men, never forget: there is a part of a woman, a component of what makes them female, that is decidedly fragile. It is a part of them that is delicate. It is with this component that you must handle with care.
1. Intro
2. Men Ego
For men, the innermost part that is the core of his being is his ego. Tamper with his ego and you are fooling with the mental and emotional tooling of the man. For the woman, however, it is her heart. The heart of a woman is very strong – yet very fragile (in this sense, something akin to the ego of a man). The heart of a woman who is loyal, faithful, true and solid is so, so fragile: it is her very being. It is what she opens to the man so that he can take possession of her. She places it in his hands with the utmost trust. It is up to the man to place value upon this trust. He must cherish it and guard it with utmost intensity, as fiercely as he would an attack by a rapist upon his woman.
3. Fidelity in the relationship
Fidelity in the relationship is all about protecting the heart of the woman, because it is from this trust-of-possession, and the respect of that trust that her man provides the value and self-worth that she derives from the relationship. When a man takes this trusted possession and simply discards it through unfaithfulness, he communicates to her that her trust has no value to him. In his actions, he (sometimes unknowingly, yet) viciously attacks the being of the woman. She then questions her worth and the value of her trust. Yet, it is we men whose being and worth should be questioned. What is the value of a man who would do such a thing? An honorable man would terminate a relationship in an honorable fashion. To do so would be to protect her heart and to guard her value and her trust.
4. The unworthy man
No, it is the unworthy man that would risk her core, her being, in pursuing other challenges. It is the dishonorable man that would take this possession that she has entrusted to him, her heart, her soul, and flush it down the toilet as if it were so much refuse. So gentlemen, particularly you younger fellows: understand the wonderful nature of your woman. Cherish it. In your relationship with her, deal with her from a position of honor. Honor the trust that she has handed over to you and surrendered to your care. Handle with care.
5. Good Lesson
Wouldn't it be great if Sam's message could be grasped and heeded by men before making painful errors? I have been victimized by infidelity. I forgave and was understanding but didn't then understand how greatly it hurt me and ripped apart my self-esteem as a woman. The relationship (a marriage) ended. And since then I have read comments of gentlemen here, who like Sam, are so in to their women. I also have a new gentleman in my life who places me at prime focus. It feels very new to be thought of as a jewel. I am astounded at times that it can be so wonderful after having endured such deep, destructive pain. I am glad to know, despite the endless jokes that make the email circuit and the prevalence and acceptance of pornography, affairs, etc.; that there are men who are devoted and committed to one woman they love. Devotion is what I saw in my parents relationship. How nice to know it can still exist today.
6. Terrible effects we had not predicted
My husband and I allowed ourselves to become sexually involved with another couple. I agreed to it, he didn't force me. It has had far reaching effects to our marriage. I can't help feeling like he gave me away, that what I vowed to him was not so special that he wanted to keep it for himself. I had/have serious effects about how I view myself. Even though I agreed, I'm surprised there is any situation where he would share me. I don't know if we'll ever recover. Sam's words are so true. I wish my husband understood them. I wish I had.
7. Not-So-Fragile Flower
I've never worried about a man's fidelity to me. I assume it. Years ago, a man who was once a friend of my first lover, a high school boyfriend, told me that my boyfriend was not true to me. He said, when my boyfriend and I were going out together (and going to bed together) he actually had another girlfriend at the same time. This pointless conversation took place about five years after said boyfriend and I had broken up. Anyhow, my reaction was to laugh. I pointed out that we spent hours together after school every day, dated on weekends, and had long telephone calls every night after dinner (much to our parents' annoyance). So, I asked this silly man who had nothing better to say to me after he hadn't seen me in 5 years, when did my ex-boyfriend even have the time to be seeing another girl? In any case, while I wouldn't be pleased to hear my husband had an affair, I wouldn't fall apart either. This is not meant to be a pro-infidelity statement. It's just that I don't feel women are any more delicate than men. Men may have affairs more often than women but they freak out just as much or more if their wives step out on them.